Experiences

Groundhog Day

Jeanna GLeave a comment

Have you ever experienced déjà vu? It’s the sense that you’ve experienced something that you haven’t actually experienced before. But maybe the universe is trying to tell you something. Maybe you did experience it, but you did it wrong the first time, and you’re being given a second chance. What was so important about that moment that you’re being made to live it again? What is the impact you’re supposed to make? What should you have done differently the first time around?

Back in college, my buddies and I drove from Penn State to Punxsutawney to witness the strangely fascinating celebration of seeking the meteorological predictions of a groundhog. I was telling my daughter about that trip. and then suggested we watch the movie together. Afterwards, I asked what she would do if she got to live the same day over and over again, and she answered like a normal 10 year old: eat a ton of candy, act crazy, get away with stuff. I, on the other hand, would hopefully take the route that Phil eventually took and become a better person.

Maybe we’re stuck in the same place until we make it better. Maybe we keep running into the same people because we’re supposed to help improve their lives. Maybe we’re not supposed to keep moving on so that we can actually live in the moment. Maybe we get stuck because we keep missing the point.

The days don’t actually repeat themselves like they did for Phil, but sometimes they sure feel like they do, except we continue to get older, and the calendar pages continue to turn. We can reminisce about our younger days, like I obviously like to do, but we can’t actually relive our youth. But let’s just say you woke up and time was repeating itself. Would you know why? Would you know what you had to fix, or who you needed to help in order to move on? And what if you got to pick which day you could live over and over again? What has been your best day? And is that the best you can do? Maybe we all need to be a groundhog for a day and ask ourselves, “When I get pulled into the light, will I be afraid of my own shadow?”

Snow Day

Jeanna G1 Comment

I’m not from here, but I’ve been here long enough that, when asked, I answer, “Home is North Carolina.” Except when a winter storm is coming. Then my answer is, “I grew up in New England.” It’s like I gain instant street cred (in my head anyway).

Winter Storm Izzy is on her way, and all the Cackalackys are in a tizzy. Buy all the bread and milk that exists! I never really understood the milk part of that equation. If the power goes out, which is to be expected with the amount of predicted ice, who’s going to want to drink sour milk? I’ve got a bottle of wine and a gas grill. All set.

The storm should be arriving Saturday night and continuing through Sunday. Monday is a holiday and Tuesday is a scheduled Teacher Workday, but the kids are still praying for a snow day come Wednesday. Sorry kids, the odds just aren’t in your favor.

And I really am sorry, because the suspense followed by the sweet relief and utter joy that comes with a snow day school cancellation is unparalleled. I vividly remember lying in bed listening to 96.5 TIC*FM, lights off, eyes closed in prayer, practicing my ABCs as I waited for the DJs to make their way through the list of closures. God help your nerves if you tuned in on a letter after your school district! Ok, focus, here we go… Avon, Barkhamsted, Bloomfield, Canton (Yes! Canton is nearby!), Darien, East Granby (Our neighbors! It’s looking good!), East Hartford, East Windsor, Ellington, Enfield (Why so many E’s, God, why??!), Fairfield, Farmington, Glastonbury (G! We’re next!! Please God! Please!), *dramatic pause*… Granby. GRANBY! YESSSSSSS!!!! *Slap* Alarm is off, back to bed. HA! Who am I kidding?! I leap out of bed. Snow pants on. Where are my moon boots?! “Mom! I’ll be back!” And out the door I go. Never has it ever been easier to get out of bed on a weekday morning.

Snow tunnels, snowball fights, igloos, King of the Mountain, catching flakes on our tongues, snowmen, snowmobiles, sledding and tubing. All great, but my personal favorite is lying deep in a snow drift, in the silence only a snowstorm can provide, staring up into the grey, mesmerized by the swirling crystallizations that rosy my cheeks and decorate my eyelashes. All proof that gentle and unique creations can make a world of a difference when they connect.

May the suspension, relief, joy, adventure, and enchantment of a snow day be with you every day.

Don’t Tell Mom!

Jeanna GLeave a comment

Growing up in a full house meant chaos and mayhem more often than not. Things would get broken: dishes, toys, and body parts. Things would get hidden: those things we broke, bad grades, and beer. Things would get lost: pets and children. Things would get faked: innocence and parent signatures. But no matter what happened, someone would yell, “Don’t tell mom!”

With so many kids, there was usually a witness, which therefore led to some leverage, blackmail, or payback. But sometimes you were lucky enough to do something stupid without anyone watching.

I think I was somewhere around 7 or 8 years old when I decided to pick up my brother’s BB gun. (Also embedded here is a good lesson in gun safety.) I had seen my brothers shooting at a paper target out in the yard that was secured to a blanket which was draped over some wood. They carried it into the shed, and left it there…with the gun. The loaded gun. The loaded gun with the safety off. I knew better than to look down the barrel, at least. So I made the swift decision to pick up the gun, aim it at the target that was a mere six feet in front of me, and shoot off a round. As soon as my finger flexed I had the following senses: I heard the BB hit the target, I felt the BB fly through the hair hanging alongside my neck, then I tasted fear as I saw in my mind’s eye my mother coming at me with her wooden spoon because she’s mad I have no common sense. But then I came to my senses and realized she hadn’t seen a thing. I was one lucky son of a gun.

So that was my secret…’til now. Every year I’d watch A Christmas Story and silently nod in agreement when everyone yelled at Ralphie that he would shoot his eye out. But guess what Santa brought my daughter this year? You guessed it. An official Red Ryder, carbine action, two-hundred shot range model air rifle. And she loves it. She knocked a can over in the yard on her second shot.

Sharp Shooter

Of course I’ve learned a few things about gun safety, and other stuff, since I was her age. But I definitely still do dumb things. And I never want my mom to know about them. But now that I’m a mom I understand that unconditional love means that no matter what your child does, even it’s the dumbest shit you’ve ever seen, you’ll love her. And even though you might cringe hearing about all the ways your progeny ain’t no prodigy, you want to hear about it anyway. After all, you can’t cover it up if you don’t know about it.