Self-improvement

The 6th Love Language

Jeanna GLeave a comment

When a three-year relationship came to an end, I found myself reading The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman. I realized that what I needed most at the time were Acts of Service and Words of Affirmation. I know the relationship would have ended anyway, but at least I know what to be aware of the next time around.

My friends and I joke that food and wine should be a love language. Maybe they are and they just fall under the umbrella of Receiving Gifts. But that notion got me wondering if there really are more than five love languages.

When I was in elementary school, our family participated in an Angel Tree program through our church. Essentially, we adopted a family for Christmas, purchased and wrapped the gifts on their wish list, and then delivered them to the mom just before Christmas. Yes, the family received gifts, but it was in the giving that I also received. I don’t think that was necessarily a tipping point, but I do believe that it was one of many experiences that lead me to a life of service.

I’ve spent the past 20 years of my career serving others. It can be emotionally and physically draining, but I keep doing it because the spiritual rewards refill my cup. This gets me to thinking that I experience love by giving.

A fellow member of my church came to my house a few years back to help install a light over my sink. When he was done, he thanked me for allowing him to serve. Through the act of giving, he was speaking his love language.

I understand the concept of loving someone the way they want to be loved, not the way you think they need to be loved. And I also understand these are fluid; our needs change over time. However, in my discussions with friends, it seems as though these five languages are more often interpreted in an egocentric manner; how others can love us better, not how we can love others. Words of Appreciation mean a lot to me, but I’m going to continue to give, regardless of whether or not I receive them. Giving makes me happy, so to love me, let me give. I want to help. I want to support and cheer you on. I want to do the things that make your life easier, better, and more joyful.

The love of giving. May we all become fluent in this language.

Silver and Gold

Jeanna G3 Comments

Make new friends, but keep the old. And the same goes for yourself: love yourself now, but don’t forget to give props to the O.G.

I had actually started a letter to my younger self about a year ago, but got distracted while adulting. In this season of gratitude, I was reminded that it’s important to follow through on those thank you notes. Henceforth, I will catch up on some overdue correspondence with myself, both the silver and gold versions.

I find inspiration in the quote from Lalah Delia, “She remembered who she was, and the game changed.”

Dear future self,

Be grateful for the childhood you had, for the foundation that your life was built upon. You will be hit with hard times, but you will already have everything in you that you will need to get through.

Dear Little Jeannie,

Thank you for being someone I want to return to. Thank you for your light and your strong sense of self, because that makes finding you easier, and I want to be like you again. Thanks for not giving up when times got tough.

Dear future self,

Promise me this: now that you’ve made all the mistakes, you won’t make them again.

Dear Little Jeannie,

No promises, but I’m sorry I got lost and thought I needed to be someone different. You were right.

Dear future self,

It wasn’t your fault.

Dear Little Jeannie,

It wasn’t your fault either.

Dear future self,

Life is short. Play more. Don’t forget how much you love to do things. Don’t forget, when you get confused, just listen to the music play. And don’t forget that God knows you, and still loves you. Oh and hey…don’t stop believin’.

Dear Little Jeannie,

Thank you for your optimism, your playfulness, your curiosity and imagination. Your idea that life is a game, and that you’re going to win, has helped the journey to be entertaining, challenging, and worth continuing.

Dear future self,

Continue to be an altruist, and remember to help those who need it most.

Dear Little Jeannie,

You’ve got so much love.

Dear future self,

Don’t forget to save some of that love for yourself.

Dear Little Jeannie,

You’re so smart.

Dear future self,

You’re right.

Turn the Other Cheek

Jeanna GLeave a comment

Jesus slapped me in the face today. Literally. 

A few years ago, my church passed out a cartoon cut-out of Jesus to all of the children in Sunday School. The teachers told the children to take Flat Jesus wherever they went that summer, and to have their parents take pictures and send them back to the church. We followed the directions, but at the end of the summer we left Jesus in the car. Flat Jesus has been riding around with us ever since. Today, on my ride home from work in the 100° heat, I decided to roll down all of the windows. A big truck drove past me on the highway creating a gust of wind that resurrected Flat Jesus from His resting place. He flew to the front of the car and slapped me across the face. I was stunned, to say the least. I was even more stunned when I picked up the paper from my lap and realized what, or rather who, had slapped me. It’s not every day you get slapped in the face by Jesus.

Flat Jesus

But it got me thinking about what that slap from Jesus might mean. What is He trying to tell me? Is there something I’m supposed to change? My daughter, being as intelligent as only a pre-pubescent, clear-minded child could be, asked me in return, “Why don’t you just ask him?“ Being the old, post-pubescent, cloudy-minded adult that I am, admitted that I wasn’t so sure I actually wanted to know.

In the meantime, I’ll continue practicing the motto of clean living, dirty thinking. Hahaha, no no no. What I mean to say is, “Cheers to the pirates. May we be more like them.” Oh Lord, maybe I should just turn the other cheek.