This weekend I’m staying in Zirconia, NC, one of many towns nestled in the great Appalachian Mountains. On our drive into Flat Rock for lunch, we passed an apple orchard on one of the hairpin turns down the mountain. I stuck it in my mental Rolodex, and when I was not in danger of getting car sick, I typed the orchard’s name into my search engine and read to my group all of the reasons why we should stop there on the way home.
My gift of persuasion worked and we were soon chasing my daughter and my friend’s son around the many unique playhouses alongside the orchard. My daughter and I savored the warm, melt-in your-mouth, apple cider doughnuts. The scent of home-baked apple pies drifted into my senses, which drew us into the main building. It was then that I was transported back to childhood.
The tables of apple varieties, the bushel baskets, scales, and presses. People pulling their wagons and sipping their hot cider. With a blink of my eyes, I was back at Nestrovich’s Orchard in Granville, MA, following my mom around, ready to pick some apples.
🍏 A Gala of Apples 🍎
Beyond there, we found billy goats to pet and apples to launch from a cannon. We returned to imbibe hot cider and apple slushies, and were delighted in finding apple butter to bring back home.
If you’ve been reading my posts, you know I love to do things. All the things. Usually one time is enough. But this… walking through the orchard, mountain top vistas, peaceful motions and thoughtful considerations of a future filled with pies and sauce and family gatherings… this should be done annually, a tradition. How distinctive a moment that, all at once, you can be reminded of something you didn’t know you missed, but you realize you’ve missed very much, and now you’ll be sure not to miss again. Now how do you like them apples?
The theme of my blog posts is “finding happiness by wandering back to youth.” I’ve written before that I’m able to re-experience my childhood simply by playing with my child. I love introducing her to games I used to play, places I’ve been, and other activities in which I’ve participated. As a parent I experience déjà vu often; I re-live events, but this time around I get to do so through the spirit of my child, while reawakening my own child-like spirit.
As mentioned in my previous post, my daughter and I just traveled to Puerto Vallarta, Mexico for vacation. It was her first time leaving her home country; the first stamp in her passport. I knew the trip would be special, even if we just sat by the pool all day, but I wanted unique, unforgettable adventures for us. I didn’t want to be so busy going out to find food that we wouldn’t have time for fun, so I decided we would stay at an all-inclusive resort. I chose the Hotel Riu Palace Pacifico in the state of Nayarit. Everyone there was so friendly and accommodating. It was clean, and the food and drinks were delicious and plentiful.
The first day we took a taxi to Aquaventuras water park for a Dolphin Encounter. It was a Bucket List item for both of us. We stood side-by-side in the pool, and pet and played with Quintus the dolphin. To be able to enjoy the experience with my daughter, and to know she is just as grateful for the experience as I am, is a dream come true. We paid extra for the professional photos of our encounter, but we were allowed to stay and enjoy the water slides and a free lunch, so it all balanced out.
Bucket List: ✅
Afterwards, we took another cab downtown to the Malecón, a boardwalk with shopping, restaurants, and beautiful sculptures to enjoy. You can shop inside stores, or purchase items from the artists selling at outdoor stands. This is a great way to feel the city.
Sights on the Malecón
The next day we took a cab to meet the owner of Rancho El Charro, who then drove us the rest of the way to her horse ranch. When I traveled to the Dominican Republic back in 1998, my sister booked a horse ride along the beach, and it was such a wonderful experience, that I wanted my daughter to also have the opportunity. She and I rode into the Sierra Madres on a three-hour tour. It was so peaceful and beautiful, and she loved it.
If there’s a different mode of travel available to see the sights, take it!
Our last full day was to be spent relaxing by the pool and taking a dip in the Pacific. She had seen other girls getting their hair braided on the beach and asked if she could get her hair done. In the DR, I also got my hair braided, and loved it, so I just couldn’t say no. Afterwards, she met up with another 9-year old girl who was staying at the resort. They met the day we arrived and became fast friends. I had purchased a waterproof case for my phone, so they wanted to take some underwater photos in the pool. One photo had an uncanny resemblance to one of me taken over 20 years ago…
Double Take!
We left the next morning, but my daughter was desperate to say goodbye to her new friend. I couldn’t help but be reminded of the last time I saw my friend, Vanessa, back in first grade. My mom helped me to search high and low for her at the airport, with the hunt ending in a ladies restroom with a hug and a fracture in my heart. This is when it hurts to know how much my daughter is like me: we both love easily, making goodbyes that much harder. I stood by watching them hug goodbye, neither wanting to be the first to let go. She cried as I walked her to our taxi under my arm.
Fast Friends
Sometimes it’s heartwarming, and sometimes it creates heartache… seeing my reflection in the life of my child. I may have been where she is before, but together our feelings create a harmony, making a richer and brighter cover of an old song. Even the sad times are worth experiencing again, because it reminds me of my own wealth of emotions and ability to feel deeply and completely. If not for the capability to empathize, how else could I really share these experiences with my daughter?
Happy or sad, my memories make me who I am. And sometimes I like to be reminded of who that person truly is. This is why I make time to rendezvous with déjà vu.
As a child, I was taught to mind my manners, especially when visiting someone else’s home. Be respectful of their rules and practices, listen to and learn about the host, graciously accept what is offered to you, and offer to help in return. I believe these same principles apply when visiting another country.
My daughter and I just traveled to Mexico for the first time. She was buzzing with excitement about so many aspects of the trip, especially the part about missing a few days of school. But I told her she wasn’t missing anything because she was still going to receive an education while we traveled. In fact, this was going to be the best form of remote learning in which she could ever participate! As a parent, I need to seize opportunities like this to ensure the practices I learned as a child are also carried on as her custom.
Before we departed, I read to her about Puerto Vallarta’s history, geography, weather, cuisine, attractions, and economy. We learned that 50% of their workforce is in hospitality, so I had the notion that the general population must be struggling. Although we stayed at an all-inclusive resort, I wanted to be aware of any tipping policies. The receptionist told me tipping was not necessary. Mind you, I’ve worked in hospitality for a long time, and I would never turn down a tip. I also assume the employees are trying to catch-up after the Covid drought. So I tipped. Everybody.
I studied Spanish for four years beginning in 8th grade. Unlike riding a bike, I find it easy to forget how to speak a second language without practice. So, in addition to reading about Puerto Vallarta, I’ve been using Duolingo to brush up on this skill, and to introduce it to my daughter. I want to at least try to be able to speak the language of the country I’m visiting. Although I spoke some Spanish, almost everyone I interacted with spoke English very well, and seemed happy to oblige.
We learned more by walking along the Malecón, viewing and purchasing the wares and fares of the local artists and food vendors.
We learned the most from our taxi drivers. Raul told us about tequila tours and to be on the lookout for coatimundis (which we were lucky enough to spot later that night!). Antonio played mariachi music for us, used google translate on his phone to make sure we understood each other, and he pulled over when there was a sight he wanted us to see. He was calling us “familia” by the end of our ride. Our third driver wanted to know all about us. He said he could tell we were not like other gringas. I laughed, looked down at my fanny pack, and then asked what he thought was different. He replied, “Most Americans who visit are arrogant.” That made me sad and disappointed to think ‘we’ were not minding our manners when visiting someone else’s home. He and I continued to get to know each other for the rest of the drive, and it wasn’t lost on me that he finished each sentence with “mi amiga.”
Being a good guest doesn’t require bending over backwards to please your host, and vice versa. It’s as simple as minding your manners. So please remember, we’re all sharing the same world, so mi casa es tu casa, y tu casa es mi casa, amigos.
Juvenescent Junkets 