Summer Lovin’

I’m not a fan of summer. I do not like being hot. I like sweating even less. I would stay inside all summer, if I could, but my dogs, job, and the social responsibility of my yard make that impossible. The only thing that saves summer for me is the beach. I love the beach. As someone who promotes juvenescence, the beach is the perfect stage.

At the beach, being chill and taking naps is encouraged. There’s no powering through the day to be as productive as possible. The beach actually, naturally, works against any attempts at big adult thoughts. You start to have one and then —Sploosh! — a big wave takes you out. Then you try to have another one and —Yoo-Hoo! — calls that unique shell, half hiding in the sand. You’re about to contemplate something real adult-like and then — Swoosh! — a seagull flies by and steals that chip right out of your hand. Look! A ghost crab! And what just jumped out of the water? Did you see that? Ayeeee! Something slimy just brushed my leg!

Can’t concentrate, can you? It’s okay. Give in to the sound of the waves. Be mesmerized by the sun rays shimmering across the water. Let your most earnest query be, “Is that a buoy or a lighthouse in the distance?” Did you even realize you single-handedly built a mud castle while you watched that pelican dive for lunch? Who can spit their cherry seeds the farthest? Who can hold their handstand the longest in the waves? Go ahead, pretend you’re a mermaid or a pirate. Everyone’s doing it. Let go. Hakuna Matata. Live Aloha. But put on your sunscreen. Seriously. A sunburn will erase all the fun.

Life Lessons Courtesy of a Koosh Ball

When I was in elementary school, I used to ride my bike down to the town pond to swim in the summers. One day, my friend Michelle and I were splashing around and throwing a pink and purple Koosh Ball back and forth. One throw didn’t get caught and the Koosh sank to the murky pond floor. We searched and searched, and eventually gave up hope.

Fast-forward to high school, and I’m in my lifeguard training course when the instructor tells us we get a special opportunity to learn to scuba dive. Where? The town pond. Can you guess what’s coming? That’s right! In the 5 minutes I was diving, I found my old pink and purple (and now paler and slightly green) Koosh.

I compare this story to my life. When I was little, I was playful and vibrant. But then I got lost. And then I was given an opportunity, a second chance, and I found myself again (just a slightly faded version).

There’s a lesson in this somewhere. The colorful, fun, youthful version of you is still inside of you somewhere. Don’t give up hope. You just may need to take a deep dive to allow yourself to resurface

The 6th Love Language

When a three-year relationship came to an end, I found myself reading The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman. I realized that what I needed most at the time were Acts of Service and Words of Affirmation. I know the relationship would have ended anyway, but at least I know what to be aware of the next time around.

My friends and I joke that food and wine should be a love language. Maybe they are and they just fall under the umbrella of Receiving Gifts. But that notion got me wondering if there really are more than five love languages.

When I was in elementary school, our family participated in an Angel Tree program through our church. Essentially, we adopted a family for Christmas, purchased and wrapped the gifts on their wish list, and then delivered them to the mom just before Christmas. Yes, the family received gifts, but it was in the giving that I also received. I don’t think that was necessarily a tipping point, but I do believe that it was one of many experiences that lead me to a life of service.

I’ve spent the past 20 years of my career serving others. It can be emotionally and physically draining, but I keep doing it because the spiritual rewards refill my cup. This gets me to thinking that I experience love by giving.

A fellow member of my church came to my house a few years back to help install a light over my sink. When he was done, he thanked me for allowing him to serve. Through the act of giving, he was speaking his love language.

I understand the concept of loving someone the way they want to be loved, not the way you think they need to be loved. And I also understand these are fluid; our needs change over time. However, in my discussions with friends, it seems as though these five languages are more often interpreted in an egocentric manner; how others can love us better, not how we can love others. Words of Appreciation mean a lot to me, but I’m going to continue to give, regardless of whether or not I receive them. Giving makes me happy, so to love me, let me give. I want to help. I want to support and cheer you on. I want to do the things that make your life easier, better, and more joyful.

The love of giving. May we all become fluent in this language.