Guess Who Came To Breakfast?

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They all had a story to share.

The Viking told of his latest conquest. He stormed the castle and had a run-in with a knight over who would get the last turkey leg off the king’s banquet. They employed a wishbone to call a truce.

The caveman told of the time he was outsmarted by a brontosaurus. They bet on who could get the figs from the top of the tree first. The brontosaurus said he wouldn’t use his legs, so the caveman thought he couldn’t lose. He took the bet…and lost by a neck!

The lieutenant was just happy to be eating breakfast without the Sarge either mashing his nose into his plate, or stealing the plate out from under his nose.

The little red-headed girl lamented over the fact that the round-headed boy still hadn’t found the nerve to ask her out.

The blonde-haired boy and his tiger took turns shooting strawberries at the Viking’s helmet with their slingshot.

The orange cat, between yawns, was describing a nightmare in which he had turned into lasagne, and was torn because he couldn’t decide if he should eat himself, or not.

What’s that you ask? Was this all a dream? No, no. This all happened over breakfast. No really! It was all right there in the funny pages.

Laughs du Jour

Growing up, Saturday mornings were for cartoons, and Sundays were for comics. I wouldn’t get up from the table to get dressed for church until I finished reading all of my favorite strips. Comics gave me material for my jokes and storylines for my pretend play. They also gave me some insight into the way adults think and behave. Hmmm…adult behaving like children. Sounds like a comic strip to me!

Tonight my daughter and I watched Be My Valentine, Charlie Brown. It got me thinking about all of the comics she missed out on because of my switch from print to digital media. I think the funny pages need to be delivered to the breakfast table again.

Halcyon Days of Winter

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Twinkling lights
Warm glows
Fireside hot cocoa
Listen to the radio
Hold your breath waiting to hear
The DJ say
No school today

Lie on the snow blanket and get hypnotized
By flurries dancing before your eyes
Be an angel before you rise
Then make your snowballs to surprise
Your friends as they pass by

Hide out in your igloo
Or hit the slopes with your inner tube
Snow drifts
Ski lifts
Snowboarders showing off cool tricks

Off to the lake
To fish or skate
Lick an icicle to rehydrate
Join in the broomball game
Play til the Wolf Moon begins to wane

Snow plows cleared the way 
Back to school, but that’s okay
Because here comes Valentine’s Day
Shoebox mailbox
For cards and sweets
Shy smiles and blushing cheeks

Look outside! Can I believe my eyes?
Swirling flakes, grey skies
Arctic blast, get home fast
What’s the forecast?
School tomorrow? Place your bets
Old Man Winter’s not done yet

Things That Cling

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Every morning I take my dogs on a walk, and every morning I step over cracks so that I don’t break my mother’s back. Sometimes I will see a penny and pick it up so that all day long I’ll have good luck, but only if it’s heads up.

When I get back home, I pack up and get in the car to head to work. At least once a trip, I’m mouthing at other drivers, “no cuts, no butts, no coconuts.” Sometimes I also have to use sign language to get my point across.

Oftentimes at work, a lot of my clients say they “never got my email,” or they “followed the steps, but the computer made a mistake.” All to which I exclaim, “Liar, liar! Pants on fire! Nose is longer than a telephone wire!”

As the sun sets, I walk the dogs again and look for the stars to start their shift. I’ll say to myself, “Star light, star bright, first start I see tonight. I wish I may, I wish I might, have the wish I wish tonight.” I can’t tell you what I wish for, ‘cause then it won’t come true.

After dinner and sitcoms, it’s time to put my daughter to bed. She tells me I’m her best and that she loves me. And I say, “I’m rubber, you’re glue. Whatever you say bounces off me and sticks to you.”