Communication

Turn On Your Listening Ears

Jeanna G1 Comment

I did a lot of listening today. Which, if you know me, is no small feat.

I didn’t know that my day would involve so much listening. In fact, I didn’t think I’d have much human contact at all, based on my assigned tasks for the day. But I encountered 9 different humans, in 9 different places, and without prompt, they began telling me stories. And none of the plots were light; they all posed a question or concern to consider, even though some weren’t expressed out loud.

By the end of the day, I felt like Lucy van Pelt sitting at her psychiatric booth listening to Charlie Brown and the gang. Her advice wasn’t usually good, but her peers sat and talked to her anyway, I’m guessing because she was simply there.

My friends will agree, I’m not a good listener, but yesterday my antenna must have been receiving a clear signal from my kindergarten teacher. The message: Turn on your listening ears. So I did. And it felt good to be present and to be trusted. And I hope they felt good to be heard. Maybe Fulghum is right, and all we really do need to know was taught in Kindergarten!

The 6th Love Language

Jeanna GLeave a comment

When a three-year relationship came to an end, I found myself reading The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman. I realized that what I needed most at the time were Acts of Service and Words of Affirmation. I know the relationship would have ended anyway, but at least I know what to be aware of the next time around.

My friends and I joke that food and wine should be a love language. Maybe they are and they just fall under the umbrella of Receiving Gifts. But that notion got me wondering if there really are more than five love languages.

When I was in elementary school, our family participated in an Angel Tree program through our church. Essentially, we adopted a family for Christmas, purchased and wrapped the gifts on their wish list, and then delivered them to the mom just before Christmas. Yes, the family received gifts, but it was in the giving that I also received. I don’t think that was necessarily a tipping point, but I do believe that it was one of many experiences that lead me to a life of service.

I’ve spent the past 20 years of my career serving others. It can be emotionally and physically draining, but I keep doing it because the spiritual rewards refill my cup. This gets me to thinking that I experience love by giving.

A fellow member of my church came to my house a few years back to help install a light over my sink. When he was done, he thanked me for allowing him to serve. Through the act of giving, he was speaking his love language.

I understand the concept of loving someone the way they want to be loved, not the way you think they need to be loved. And I also understand these are fluid; our needs change over time. However, in my discussions with friends, it seems as though these five languages are more often interpreted in an egocentric manner; how others can love us better, not how we can love others. Words of Appreciation mean a lot to me, but I’m going to continue to give, regardless of whether or not I receive them. Giving makes me happy, so to love me, let me give. I want to help. I want to support and cheer you on. I want to do the things that make your life easier, better, and more joyful.

The love of giving. May we all become fluent in this language.

Pen Pals

Jeanna GLeave a comment

I mentioned in a previous post that my first best friend moved away when I was in second grade. Sadly, we did not have any contact information, so we lost touch and I never saw or heard from her again. When my daughter was in second grade, her close friend also moved away. Covid had just entered our worlds, and her friend’s family made a very quick decision to move to Florida to be closer to their relatives. She did not get a chance to say goodbye, and I felt so sorry for her.

Fast-forward two and a half years, and my daughter finds a note in the mailbox from that same friend. Apparently they were driving through town and thought to pass by and leave a note with their new address and a request to be pen pals. We were so excited!

I had several pen pals when I was young. Most of them were friends I met at summer camp, one of which lived in Spain. My friend, who I only saw in the summers when we went to Pennsylvania, is still my dear friend, and we still send cards to each other. My grandma was my pen pal for several years. I even had a pen pal from Germany. I’m not sure how that came about, but I’m pretty sure it was along the same lines as a chain letter. Remember those? People who participated were supposed to get so many in return, but that never happened for me. What a gimmick!

As a blogger, I obviously like to write, but mailing letters seems to have become a thing of the past. When emails were invented, I sent them off to friends and family, but now email is associated with work, so I don’t write many for fun. Texts took over next, but those aren’t even close to writing or receiving a letter. When my daughter got the request to be a pen pal, I was so excited for her. We both love getting things in the mail. Maybe I should start writing letters again, but who would write back?