Why do we try to scare each other and ourselves? As FDR said, “The only thing we have to fear is…fear itself.” So why try to create more fear and chance traumatizing ourselves?

When I was young, my friends and I used to play Ghosts in the Graveyard. It was played at night, in the dark, out in the yard. One player would hide, while the rest of us creeped around the yard looking for that player. Once the person hiding was found, they would chase after all of us as we ran back to the safety of home base. This game was thrilling in the sense that it was fun, but scary as hell! I didn’t like to be the one to hide, because then I’d just be sitting in the dark listening to all of the sounds that go bump in the night. “What was that?” I’d wonder, as my imagination spiraled. Was that a person? An animal? Just the wind in the leaves? Big foot??

At slumber parties there were always the late night rituals of telling ghost stories and playing games like Bloody Mary and Light as a Feather, Stiff as a Board. Some friends even pulled out the Ouija Board. We would conjure up these sensations of spirits, and not necessarily friendly ones, like Casper. There was always one girl who ended up crying, who I was grateful for, because that signaled the end of freaking each other out.

I never understood the desire to watch horror movies. My sister and her friend would watch all the Freddy and Jason movies, but I steered clear. I had to draw the line somewhere. Vision can be a curse; things seen can’t be unseen.

Halloween is what you make it, I suppose. I was always in it for the candy, and my costumes were more Wonder Woman and less Wicked Witch. But even though I was out for the treats, I was taking my chances with the tricks. It’s the not knowing that creeps me out the most. What’s around that corner? What’s making that noise? Who’s really behind that mask?

As spooked as I got, I still participated, and I’m trying to understand why. Adults threatened us with the Boogeyman if we weren’t acting right, but it’s not like they encouraged us to scare the shit out of each other. We did that all on our own volition! Maybe it’s all about self-defense and we were just gearing up to be able to conquer our inevitable fears. Maybe we did it to remind ourselves that we really were safe, and that what we conjured up in our imaginations was just that: imaginary. And maybe we practiced being brave for those times in life when we would face the real scary stuff…like hormones.