The Butterfly Effect of Parenting

You’re pondering life with friends, and someone asks, “If you could change one thing from your past, what would it be?” Does something immediately come to mind? Do you wonder if it has to be just one thing, or do you come up empty? Or, are you so happy with how your life has turned out, that you don’t want to change anything and risk losing what you have today?

Do you think one change of the past could have a huge, life-altering impact? What if you could go back and change things, and your life today would stay the same, but you wouldn’t have the memory of what you changed? Would the absence of the memory alter how you go about your day-to-day, how you feel about yourself, or how you interact with others? 

I like to think I’m special because my middle school-aged daughter still tells me what’s on her mind, about her crushes and dilemmas with friends, and asks my advice. But that got me wondering, how many of her seemingly mundane, inconsequential decisions – that I’m influencing – will actually have a huge impact on where and how she’s living life 30 years from now? Are any of the decisions she’s making today going to be the ones she rues? That’s a lot of responsibility!

As a parent, I know that I have the very serious and scary job of influencing a lot of her decisions, with both my words and actions. I think the hardest part is discerning when to take the wheel, and when to take a back seat. I hope I always have the choice, because I know it’s ultimately up to her to either hear me out or tune me out. All I really know today is that, 30 years from now, if I’m asked what I would change, I don’t want to be wishing I had been a better parent. 

Antiques for Hire

My friend and I, both Gen Xers, were talking about the job market and what makes us seasoned veterans qualified versus those who are just now entering the workforce. The world is changing so quickly, and we are feeling very outdated. Even so, we know we’re valuable. I guess we can sympathize with antiques?

Honestly, I don’t even know what I’m qualified to do outside of my degree and the career path I’ve been on for 20 years. What skills do I have that are even relevant anymore? There are parallels between what my daughter, an Alpha, and I both learned in elementary school, but I can’t help but notice that some things I think are important are being disregarded.

My friend and I questioned if anyone actually reads résumés, and then imagined what would happen if everyone’s résumés were based on what we picked up in elementary school. Here’s mine:

Education:

Elementary

⁃ Achieved “Moonbeams” reading level

⁃ Memorized the multiplication table

⁃ GPA: Outstanding

Job experience:

⁃ Dog walking

⁃ Lawn mowing

Skills:

⁃ Plays well with others

⁃ Rides a 10-speed with no hands for long distances

⁃ Fifer (Yes, I know it’s an instrument that hasn’t been popular since the American Revolution.)

⁃ Check writing

⁃ Nice penmanship, including cursive

⁃ Colors inside the lines

⁃ Juggles citrus fruits

⁃ Knows how to carry on a face-to-face conversation

⁃ Washes hands for 30 seconds with soap and warm water

⁃ Follows directions, especially when baking cookies

⁃ Great whistler

⁃ Reads analog clocks

⁃ Utilizes polite manners and social etiquette

⁃ Demonstrates that sharing is caring

Accomplishments:

⁃ Won the 50 yard dash at field day

⁃ Caught an 11” rainbow trout

⁃ 1st place in a cow hair clipping contest at the county fair

⁃ Spelling Bee class champion

Volunteerism:

– Lots of chores around the house

References:

Ms. Sturges, Kindergarten Teacher:

“Jeanna is an interesting girl. She matured as a sharing, contributing, helpful member of the group.”

Ms. Davis, 5th Grade Teacher:

“Jeanna is tops all around – pretty, bright, conscientious. The world could use some more like her.”

Now how would this compete with the résumé of a Millennial, Gen Z, or Alpha? Would I have the edge? Sounds like the makings of a new game show!

Enuf

On a first grade spelling test, I spelled one word wrong.

Enough. E-N-U-F. It was a forehead slapper of a mistake. I resented that word for many, many years. But something changed somewhere along the way, and that word has become one of my favorites for many reasons.

Enough has served as a limit, like of my patience, and has therefore been a trigger for necessary change.

Enough has meant fullness; full belly, full heart, full cup.

Enough has helped me recognize peace and contentment.

Enough has allowed me to share.

As long as enough is enough, then I’ve had enough, and that is enough of that.