Nurture

Silver and Gold

Jeanna G3 Comments

Make new friends, but keep the old. And the same goes for yourself: love yourself now, but don’t forget to give props to the O.G.

I had actually started a letter to my younger self about a year ago, but got distracted while adulting. In this season of gratitude, I was reminded that it’s important to follow through on those thank you notes. Henceforth, I will catch up on some overdue correspondence with myself, both the silver and gold versions.

I find inspiration in the quote from Lalah Delia, “She remembered who she was, and the game changed.”

Dear future self,

Be grateful for the childhood you had, for the foundation that your life was built upon. You will be hit with hard times, but you will already have everything in you that you will need to get through.

Dear Little Jeannie,

Thank you for being someone I want to return to. Thank you for your light and your strong sense of self, because that makes finding you easier, and I want to be like you again. Thanks for not giving up when times got tough.

Dear future self,

Promise me this: now that you’ve made all the mistakes, you won’t make them again.

Dear Little Jeannie,

No promises, but I’m sorry I got lost and thought I needed to be someone different. You were right.

Dear future self,

It wasn’t your fault.

Dear Little Jeannie,

It wasn’t your fault either.

Dear future self,

Life is short. Play more. Don’t forget how much you love to do things. Don’t forget, when you get confused, just listen to the music play. And don’t forget that God knows you, and still loves you. Oh and hey…don’t stop believin’.

Dear Little Jeannie,

Thank you for your optimism, your playfulness, your curiosity and imagination. Your idea that life is a game, and that you’re going to win, has helped the journey to be entertaining, challenging, and worth continuing.

Dear future self,

Continue to be an altruist, and remember to help those who need it most.

Dear Little Jeannie,

You’ve got so much love.

Dear future self,

Don’t forget to save some of that love for yourself.

Dear Little Jeannie,

You’re so smart.

Dear future self,

You’re right.

Hi Mom!

Jeanna GLeave a comment

Every time an award is received, or a game is won, and the winner yells into the camera, “Hi Mom!,” I smile. How great is it that moms are the first to be considered when a child does something well. How great that moms are loved so much, and credited with so much, that they get the first shout-out.

Mom. The first to take care of me, the first to teach me how to take care of myself, and the first to teach me how to care for others. Also the first to prove how much work it all takes.

Mom was always working. She had a full-time, 9-5 job, and then a part-time job in the evenings or on weekends. And they weren’t careers that she was passionate about, but jobs that benefitted her kids in more ways than just bringing in a paycheck to keep us fed and to put clothes on our backs. She ran a daycare out of our house so she could be home with us, and she worked as a secretary at the Y so we could get free camp enrollment, and she worked at a university to get us discounts on tuition. And despite all the jobs, she was always home in the morning, putting breakfast on the table and getting us on the bus, and then cheering us on from the sidelines, and driving us to and from our extra-curriculars in the afternoons and on weekends. How did she fit everything in? And when did she ever do anything for herself?

Being a mom, myself now, I’ve figured out the answer to those questions. She fit everything in because she was powered by love and sheer will. And what she did for herself was to grow us into capable adults who don’t need her anymore. But that right there is a Catch-22, because, as she told me, “The greatest achievement as a mom is to have kids who grow up and don’t need you anymore, but it’s also the worst thing that can happen to a mom.” So now she has all the time in the world to do what she wants for herself, but I really think she’d rather still be mom-ing us.

But mom, please know, on Mother’s Day and every day, that even though we can figure things out on our own, we still need you. We need to know we can come home, show you all the great things we’ve done, get a hug, and then hear you say “Be careful” as we head back out.

We also need to know we can come home, tell you about all the dumb things we’ve done, still get a hug, and then hear you say “Be careful” as we head back out.

So don’t worry, mom, whether we’re winning or losing, you’ll still get the first shout-out. Thanks for the love.

In Search of the Eternal Buzz

Jeanna G2 Comments

My older brother, who is way cooler than I’ll ever be, used to drive a ‘76 Monte Carlo hot rod. On the back bumper was a sticker that read, “In Search of the Eternal Buzz.” As his younger sister, I gathered that search involved fast cars, beer, and babes. Much older and a little wiser, I’ve discovered that the buzz is as unique as the buzzed. As Cole Porter points out, ‘I get no kick from champagne, cocaine, or a plane, but I get a kick out of you.’ To each his own, right?

I’ve had quite the range of experiences in search of my own eternal buzz. Some healthy, some not. Some legal, some not. Some safe, some not. Fast, slow, expensive, free, large groups, alone, far away, right at home. I’ve come to find my brother’s life motto is another way of describing the concept of flow. It’s not about the end result, but the journey. It’s about living in the moment so deeply that nothing else exists. Leaning in with open arms, heart, soul, and mind.

I’ve also learned there are a lot of buzzkills out there. Avoid them. They are speed bumps that need to be swerved around. Some people just don’t like that others are happier than them. Misery loves company, and all that. Buzzkills are narrow-minded enough to think their way is the right way, the only way. But I’m rubber and they’re glue…

Some people are lucky and find their buzz early in life. Some are old and gray before their search comes to a blissful end. Either way, it’s important to keep looking. And once you find that buzz, just keep buzzin’.

So in my search, I’ve found that I love adventure. I love writing. I love traveling. I love food. I love wine. I love learning and knowing things. I love good stories. I love when things are clean and organized. I love puzzles. I love being able to fix things. I love music. I love my dogs. I love nature walks. I love cool air. I love to be entertained. I love to play. I love Christmas. I love the fall. I love to laugh. I love when the ocean or a mountain comes into view. I love the moon and the stars. I love my home. I love my family and friends. I love God. I love my daughter. And I love me. Every day I make time for something or someone I love, and so every day I catch a buzz. The more I focus on what and who I love, the longer my buzz lasts. Voila! It’s as easy that.

So what gets you buzzed?