Parenthood

The Butterfly Effect of Parenting

Jeanna G3 Comments

You’re pondering life with friends, and someone asks, “If you could change one thing from your past, what would it be?” Does something immediately come to mind? Do you wonder if it has to be just one thing, or do you come up empty? Or, are you so happy with how your life has turned out, that you don’t want to change anything and risk losing what you have today?

Do you think one change of the past could have a huge, life-altering impact? What if you could go back and change things, and your life today would stay the same, but you wouldn’t have the memory of what you changed? Would the absence of the memory alter how you go about your day-to-day, how you feel about yourself, or how you interact with others? 

I like to think I’m special because my middle school-aged daughter still tells me what’s on her mind, about her crushes and dilemmas with friends, and asks my advice. But that got me wondering, how many of her seemingly mundane, inconsequential decisions – that I’m influencing – will actually have a huge impact on where and how she’s living life 30 years from now? Are any of the decisions she’s making today going to be the ones she rues? That’s a lot of responsibility!

As a parent, I know that I have the very serious and scary job of influencing a lot of her decisions, with both my words and actions. I think the hardest part is discerning when to take the wheel, and when to take a back seat. I hope I always have the choice, because I know it’s ultimately up to her to either hear me out or tune me out. All I really know today is that, 30 years from now, if I’m asked what I would change, I don’t want to be wishing I had been a better parent. 

Give Yourself a Timeout

Jeanna GLeave a comment

When we were kids and did something wrong, we’d get a timeout. “Go sit over there and think about what you did wrong. You can come back when you know how to act right.” Oftentimes I am so busy taking care of other things and people that I forget to take care of myself. Sure I eat and shower and whatnot, but am I also nurturing my social, spiritual, and emotional wellness? Am I taking the time to remember who I am and to honor myself by doing what I truly enjoy?

As a kid, I loved being outside. There was so much to take in, so much to feel and wonder about. My daughter and I went on vacation to a lake house with our friends this past weekend. Together we floated in the lake, warmed by the sun and cooled by the water, talking and laughing, rolling over the wake sent our way by the passing boats. The sky stirred our imaginations as we watched the clouds morph into different shapes, wondered about the low-flying helicopters, pretended to be birdwatchers who knew the difference between an egret and a heron, oohed over the distant fireworks, and were mesmerized by the full moon rising and the way its reflection reached across the water to touch us. We breathed the fresh air and felt a close affinity for the world around us. I played, it made me happy, and now I feel recharged and ready for whatever’s next.

Do you forget who you are sometimes, too? It’s time to be your own wellness coach, so blow the whistle and give yourself a timeout! What do you miss doing? Think about it and then go act right!