Teach

Be an Amigo

Jeanna G4 Comments

As a child, I was taught to mind my manners, especially when visiting someone else’s home. Be respectful of their rules and practices, listen to and learn about the host, graciously accept what is offered to you, and offer to help in return. I believe these same principles apply when visiting another country.

My daughter and I just traveled to Mexico for the first time. She was buzzing with excitement about so many aspects of the trip, especially the part about missing a few days of school. But I told her she wasn’t missing anything because she was still going to receive an education while we traveled. In fact, this was going to be the best form of remote learning in which she could ever participate! As a parent, I need to seize opportunities like this to ensure the practices I learned as a child are also carried on as her custom.

Before we departed, I read to her about Puerto Vallarta’s history, geography, weather, cuisine, attractions, and economy. We learned that 50% of their workforce is in hospitality, so I had the notion that the general population must be struggling. Although we stayed at an all-inclusive resort, I wanted to be aware of any tipping policies. The receptionist told me tipping was not necessary. Mind you, I’ve worked in hospitality for a long time, and I would never turn down a tip. I also assume the employees are trying to catch-up after the Covid drought. So I tipped. Everybody.

I studied Spanish for four years beginning in 8th grade. Unlike riding a bike, I find it easy to forget how to speak a second language without practice. So, in addition to reading about Puerto Vallarta, I’ve been using Duolingo to brush up on this skill, and to introduce it to my daughter. I want to at least try to be able to speak the language of the country I’m visiting. Although I spoke some Spanish, almost everyone I interacted with spoke English very well, and seemed happy to oblige.

We learned more by walking along the Malecón, viewing and purchasing the wares and fares of the local artists and food vendors.

We learned the most from our taxi drivers. Raul told us about tequila tours and to be on the lookout for coatimundis (which we were lucky enough to spot later that night!). Antonio played mariachi music for us, used google translate on his phone to make sure we understood each other, and he pulled over when there was a sight he wanted us to see. He was calling us “familia” by the end of our ride. Our third driver wanted to know all about us. He said he could tell we were not like other gringas. I laughed, looked down at my fanny pack, and then asked what he thought was different. He replied, “Most Americans who visit are arrogant.” That made me sad and disappointed to think ‘we’ were not minding our manners when visiting someone else’s home. He and I continued to get to know each other for the rest of the drive, and it wasn’t lost on me that he finished each sentence with “mi amiga.”

Being a good guest doesn’t require bending over backwards to please your host, and vice versa. It’s as simple as minding your manners. So please remember, we’re all sharing the same world, so mi casa es tu casa, y tu casa es mi casa, amigos.

Toy Boom

Jeanna G3 Comments

My daughter and I took a trip to the NC Museum of History in downtown Raleigh yesterday afternoon. One of their many fascinating exhibits teaches about the “Toy Boom.” Going back in time to consider the impact of play is right up my alley!

Before arriving, I hadn’t realized that the toys on exhibit were from the 1950s & 60s. Some I recognized from my dad’s stories, like an Erector Set. Some were still popular when I was child in the 80s, like G.I. Joe, View-Masters, and Gumby, and some of the toys are still hits with kids in 2021: Slinky, Twister, Mr. Potato Head, Candy Land, Barbie, Frisbee, Legos, Etch A Sketch, and Silly Putty. I was excited to find Mouse Trap, considering Santa dropped one down our chimney this past Christmas. Related to Christmas, a virtual Sears Christmas catalog was on display. My pen would run out ink before I could circle every toy I wanted.

My daughter and I learned a few things within the toy exhibit. I was relieved to see her confusion over the toys that promoted gender roles in society. For example, there were two separate “What Shall I Be?” board games about what career to pursue; the one for boys had pictures of astronauts, football players, and doctors, and the one for girls had pictures of flight attendants, socialites, and nurses. It was a nice segue to the exhibit downstairs about the suffragists.

What I learned was that some of the toys were developed and promoted with ulterior motives in mind. My takeaway was that our government recognized the benefits of learning through play; toys make learning more fun, and some of these new toys could eventually help to support our race for space and wartime efforts.

The exhibit also exposed the impact of commercial advertising once televisions replaced radios as a form of entertainment. The baby boom, economic prosperity, and an influx of televisions combined to make a great recipe for consumerism. Nowadays, kids eyes are still glued to screens: TVs, tablets, and smartphones. They see the advertisements, but it seems harder to peel them away long enough to actually play. My hope is that we adults remember how much fun we had with our toys, and spend more time sharing that love with our kids.

Homage to My Dad

Jeanna GLeave a comment

I knew it would be a good day when, early on a Saturday morning, my dad would wake me up by singing, “Good morning! Good morning! How are you today? Good morning! Good morning! It’s time to get up and play!” Then he would whisk me off to a secret father-daughter breakfast at the Dandy Lion diner. Some of my fondest memories are of time spent playing with and learning from, or just being with my dad.

Any time I have a question, he has an answer. He isn’t showing off, or making up answers to move me along, he’s just really stinkin’ smart! My education would have been a lot more difficult, and much less successful, if my dad hadn’t taken the time to help me.

Aside from helping me with schoolwork, he taught, and continues to teach, me many practical skills. He isn’t “MacGyver,” but he can fix just about anything. Just watching him work encourages me to be resourceful and thorough. First, I study what needs to be fixed, and then it seems as though a conveyor belt of potential, readily available tools runs through my mind until I settle on the perfect ones. Then, voila! Problem solved. Dad would take me along to the lumberyard and hardware store, and he’d let me sit at his workbench out in the garage. I see him break things, and instead of showing anger or embarrassment, he jokes, “One step forward, two steps back!” I laugh with him, but each time is truly a lesson in persistence and the importance of trial and error. At 81, his workbench is still in the garage, but now it’s known as “Papa’s Fix-It Shop.”

We built a dollhouse together.  First he taught me how to draw pictures using perspective, enabling me to create on paper the image of the house that I had in my mind.  Next we bought the supplies and built my dream house.  I didn’t even use it all that much.  It was the shared process that I enjoyed the most.

Dad taught me how to fish.  We would go out to Christensen’s pond, bait our own hooks, cast our lines, and sit and wait. We even tried ice fishing there! We didn’t last long, even with bottom heaters, but that’s an experience I won’t forget.

Dad isn’t a jock like some other fathers, but he encouraged physical activity. He would go to the gym to swim and workout. He took me to the biggest hill to go sledding, and he taught me how to successfully swing a golf club. He would cheer me on from the sidelines of the soccer field and applaud my dance recitals. Dad also signed up to coach my town basketball team when I was in elementary school.  I don’t remember ever actually handling the ball during those games; I just ran up and down the court.  He didn’t give me a hard time about ‘getting in the game.’  He saw that I was having fun, and knew that was enough.  From there, my love for the fun of the game grew.  I became more and more involved in sports as the years passed, ultimately leading to a career in teaching others how to live a healthy life through physical activity. And, having both graduated from Big 10 schools, we always have something sports-related to talk about and root for.

Dad also took me to the Gun Club to teach me how to shoot. We’d practice with his revolver at the range. I learned a lot about safety, control, and patience from those outings.  

Dad taught me how to create art using sunlight and a magnifying glass.  I learned about poetry, and gained an appreciation for jazz.  I was able to internalize the values of listening without interrupting, living one day at a time, and ‘letting go.’  One day he would teach me how to draw a body in proportion, and the next would be a lesson in operating a manual transmission.  A regular lesson is, “Say your prayers and take your C’s!”  He is a modern day Renaissance man, and I am forever grateful for the knowledge he is so willing to share and instill.

When mom worked nights, dad and I would cook together.  During my vegetarian phase, he used the opportunity to introduce me to okra, eggplant, and falafel.  Peanut butter and pickles is an unforgettable combination, as are the sundaes he could always conjure up for TV time.

I knew it would be a peaceful night’s rest when dad would tuck me in and, instead of reading me a storybook, he would create a tale on the spot.  Mama Bear, Papa Bear, and Baby Bear would always have a new, exciting adventure, in which Baby Bear would prove to be heroic and successful.  She would swim to the rescue of a distressed swimmer, or score the game-winning goal.  The sky was the limit for “Baby Bear,” and he never leads me to believe otherwise. Now my daughter tells me of his nighttime stories in which she is the heroine, and they seem to have the same enchanting effect.

Oftentimes, it seems as though fathers get nervous about how to relate to their daughters, asking, “What do I say to her?, What would we do together?, or How will we connect?” If my father ever lacked confidence in how to address these quandaries, I could never tell. The adventures and lessons didn’t happen everyday, but they were regular, and they still exist.  The fact that he came home from work every evening and asked me about my day could have been enough.  But he took the time to share his self with me, and that is how I know he loves me.  It’s as easy as that.

I am filled with awe as he, now as Papa, continues to share his time and talents by creating meaningful, invaluable experiences with my daughter.

What do you miss doing with your dad? What did you learn from him? What do you wish you had been able to do with your dad? What would you change and what would you keep the same? How will those experiences affect how you parent?