Auld Lang Syne

2020. A year described by many as the following: A dumpster fire, shit show, kerfuffle, nightmare come true, omnishambles, hullabaloo, all hell broken loose, catastrophe, three ring circus, royal fuck up, comedy of errors, bizarre, unrivaled, hellacious, apocalyptic, calamity, and a world turned upside down.

WHO reports that, as I write this, over 74 million people have contracted the virus worldwide. I read in the Wall Street Journal that a quarter of all US jobs were disrupted as a result of the pandemic. The election divided us. Racial inequities lead to murders and riots. Fires and storms wreaked havoc on and devastated our habitats. Our ways of living, communicating, and interacting have all been upended and recreated. It’s not surprising that there has been a collective yearning for 2020, and all that came with it, to end and to never be thought of again.

But should old times be forgot and never brought to mind?

Uncertainty, worry, and feeling useless all took their toll and caused depression, an old acquaintance of mine, to rear its ugly head. But as time has shown, I’m a survivor who does not relish in pity parties. I also can’t be idle, no matter how often I think I ought to give it a try.

And so I move. And I do. And I retrain my brain to think positively and make the best of a situation. And that takes work. And it’s because of that energy and movement that, despite the headlines, I am grateful for this year.

This year has gifted me with the time and permission to think. I mean really think. Like not just about what I have to do that day, but go deep into the recesses of my brain and think about all of the things I usually don’t have the time or energy to think about. And there is a lot of stuff in there! I wrote some of it down in this blog, which I’m happy to have had the time to create this year. Other thoughts I wrote in the journal I’ve been keeping for my daughter since I was pregnant. Others I shared with my friends, because they also had time to just sit and think and ponder life with me. And some I just shared with God, because at the end of the day it’s just me and Him, and I can’t fool either one of us. I wonder if having and spending all of this time thinking is how the Ancient Greek philosophers felt in their day-to-day lives.

For the last few years, life was moving so quickly, and I didn’t feel like I could keep up at times. This year, time seemed to slow. I had time to play with my daughter. Time to try new things. Time to reintroduce old things. Time to contemplate and assess where I had been, where I was, and where I was going. And it has all made me feel a lot better about life. What began as a joke between friends became the mantra “We Are Here,” which we now repeat at our get-togethers. There’s something to be said for living in the moment. And so in 2021, as life starts to speed up again, my resolution is to make it a point to slow down and make time for the important stuff that, for reasons I still need to think about, I had put on the back burner.

And so 2020, for auld lang syne my dear, I’ll take a cup of kindness yet, for auld lang syne.

Life’s Playlist

This past Mother’s Day, my daughter and I took a road trip to the beach. Every road trip needs music. My car, however, needs help in that department. The CD player is broken, and I don’t have the fancy Bluetooth business, the auxiliary port is finicky, and playing music through my phone speaker just isn’t loud enough. So, we listen to the radio. Not iHeart Radio or Sirius, just plain old local FM radio. To my delight, one such station replays Casey Kasem’s Top 40 shows on Sunday mornings! The sound of his voice turned my car into a time machine. So of course I then had to explain to my daughter who he was and what we were listening to, and how I would tune into his show every week so that I would be ‘in the know’ at school on Monday. It’s amazing to think of how many lyrics I had memorized by such a young age. Music is reminiscent.

I’ve always had a fairly eclectic taste in music, but there are definitely genres of music that I could label periods of my life with. Elementary was Top 40, middle and high school was hip hop and alt-rock, college was jam band, mid-20s went back to hip hop, and my 30s became Kidz Bop, Fresh Beat Band, and Disney. *Sigh* We’re moving past that phase and my daughter is discovering other tastes in music. Some I like, some not so much, but I’m still curious to hear her life’s playlist. Tik Tok, YouTube, and friends are among her sources of discovery, while I try desperately to influence her musical choices every chance I get. (“Repeat after me: John, Paul, George, and Ringo.”) It’s in those attempts that I have been rediscovering my love of music. Music is revealing.

I’m getting back into the hobby of making playlists. I was a mix tape maker. First there was the art of pressing record at just the right moment to capture a song off the radio. With the double cassette player came compilations from all of the tapes I could get my hands on. Then came mix CDs, which still line the door of my car because I keep hoping my CD player will magically start working again. And now I use iTunes and Spotify to get back into the groove of playlist making. I’ve got playlists for different moods and seasons, events and people, as well as different activities like working out, cleaning the house, and focusing on my job. Music inspires and music motivates.

To say my sister was a DJ for a period of time would be an understatement. She may have gotten paid to do it for a couple of years, but she’s been my DJ for life. Music influences.

Working and schooling at home during the pandemic required several graces, and music was a big one. So I committed an act of self-preservation by making a playlist of music from my middle and high school years. I started with my personal favorites, and then decided to reach out to my friends. I asked them to name their top 3 artists or songs from that period. Not only did that spur even more memories, but it was a fun way to connect, spread joy, and offer respite to my loved ones. Music unites and music heals.

As my enjoyment of popular music ebbs and flows with the times, my love of jazz remains constant. Improvisation provides a breath of fresh air, and I find hope in the blending of multiple rhythms and melodies. It evokes calmness despite the fickle world we live in. Music soothes.

There’s a song for everything. I get tired of telling my daughter to clean up or get ready or whatever, so now I sing directions to her. She rolls her eyes, but I know she likes it better than me yelling. And now she sings to me as a way to get me to pay attention. Music communicates.

Music is all around me and within me. It helps me tune into life, and allows me to escape. It accompanies the good and the sad, the major and the minor. Life is an ever-changing playlist of songs, but the music is a constant friend.

What makes your life’s playlist? What does music do for you?

The Importance of Play: Pt. 1

I wrote the following devotional for my church last October:

One of my greatest fears is growing up. Not growing old, but growing up. I don’t fear this for just myself, but for all humankind. I’ve worked with children of all ages and backgrounds for about 18 years. Too often I have met children with adult responsibilities and concerns. They do not have the freedom to play, which is counterproductive, in my humble opinion, because play is one of the best learning tools. Through play we socialize and work together, use our imaginations to dream up visions of our future, or practice solving problems, and we always learn better when we’re having fun. I’m afraid that children are experiencing a loss of innocence at younger and younger stages, thereby nipping in the bud any chance of a playful childhood, and therefore a more optimistic future.

The Bible tells us in Mark 9:36-37 that children are a gift from God and we should cherish and care for them as best we can. What also scares me is that the adults who are caring for these children have forgotten how to play. How can we teach what we no longer know?

I was gifted with what is referred to as a free-range childhood; my friends and I rode our bikes all over town (no helmets!), stomped our way down the brook, danced silly routines at the bus stop for the passing cars, built forts in the trees, and we’d play kickball in the back until the dinner bell rang. I know a lot of adults who say their childhood was similar, but ‘these days and these kids just aren’t the same.’ But can’t they be? Are our own perceived fears of technology, crime, or injury getting in the way of play? Teach the children how we used to play. If you’re reading this, you survived, so you can’t have done anything that bad. Have faith that they will survive, too.

God gifted me with a career path that leads me to children who are desperate for a lot of things, but among them are time and resources to play, and to be a kid with no responsibilities other than to have fun. I get to play every day, and what a blessing it is to see children behaving like children. All of you adults out there can receive my blessings, too. But first, you need to nurture your own imaginations and silliness. God tells us in Matthew 18:2-4 to think and act like children; be humble, happy, and full of love. Whether you have a child to play with, or not, it is okay to go out and play. The world sure can use the gifts of play, like laughter, friendship, cooperation, creativity, altruism, and appreciation for the here and now.

If you could teach and play with a child any game from your childhood, what would it be?